beauty as sustenance

a reflection, a poem, and a practice

Blooms on an autumn sage bush in my backyard

“When you encounter beauty in the world, you drop out of goal-consciousness and into witness-consciousness. Instead of being driven by the mindset of productivity, you shift into a mindset of beholding the moment. To behold is to stand with openness and awe before what is happening, rather than trying to figure out what to do next.”

—Breath Prayer: An Ancient Practice to the Everyday Sacred by Christine Valters Paintner

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Years ago, after a season of intensive (intellectual) learning around a topic with which I had become completely enthralled, I was on my way in to yet another day-long workshop with an esteemed teacher. As I climbed the steps leading up to the building, I paused when I noticed a bee buzzing around a fragrant flower from one of the trees that lined the walkway. An unexpected, unbidden thought popped into my head: I bet I could learn more from spending the day with this bee than sitting all day in a workshop.

I love to learn and am grateful for the many wisdom teachers, cohorts, workshops, and classes that have enriched my understanding of myself and the world. That said, the bee that caught my attention on that day helped me recognize my soul’s thirst for beauty and contemplation—an embodied experience of all that I had been learning. This little glimpse of the natural world invited me into a moment of “witness-consciousness” in contrast with the “goal-consciousness” that had been driving me.

Photo by Nguyen Huy:

One of the most interesting aspects of my work as a spiritual director is noticing themes that emerge across sessions with different directees. While I have the privilege of witnessing the work of the Spirit in the lives of individuals, the Holy is also at work in humanity collectively. People seek spiritual direction for a variety of reasons, sharing from their personal context in the confidential container of one-on-one sessions, but I often find common themes arising. This awareness can be a comfort to those who are feeling isolated in their pain and can also help us tap into collective wisdom as we learn and grow together.

Lately, in nearly every spiritual direction session, with nearly all of my directees, some form of the same question has come up: “If God is good/loving/real, why is there so much suffering in my life/in the world?” The question is asked not from a philosophical standpoint but from a tender and deeply personal, honest place. Despite the temptation to think that the question is irrelevant due to the futility of finding an answer, its timelessness and universality speaks to its relevance as a worthy question with which to contend.

In my last post, I wrote about framing these kinds of questions as lament questions rather than intellectual ones. For this post, I want to share a practice that can help sustain us during periods of prolonged turmoil and suffering. In the quote above, spiritual director and contemplative Christine Valters Paintner presents beauty encounters as invitations to “drop out of goal-consciousness and into witness-consciousness,” shifting from the “mindset of productivity” to “a mindset of beholding the moment.” This articulates a notable benefit of the practice of savoring.

These are some pictures I took recently in an afternoon of guided forest bathing as part of “Wild Week” at Retreat House Spirituality Center.

Savoring—the practice of slowing down to notice and be present to beauty and goodness—helps sustain us during times of suffering. If you follow people who talk about inner work and healing, you’ve likely noticed a lot of public conversations around the fact that bodies carry memories and stress from trauma (“The body keeps the score”), but bodies also carry memories of felt safety and connection. When we take time to savor connection with God, self, others, and creation, we allow our bodies to build a sort of resource bank that we can return to when we feel overwhelmed. This is not a denial or repression of suffering but rather, an opportunity to open awareness to joy along with any suffering that is present.

This practice doesn’t require a large block of time or expensive resources, and you don’t have to wait until difficult circumstances pass before you can try it. As we shift our attention and slow down even just for a minute or two, we can find little pockets of moments to savor in our daily lives.

If you’re unsure of where to start, begin with your senses. Find something to savor that is easily accessible to you and is pleasing to one or more of the five senses. Even if you do not have access to a lot of natural beauty, you can use any small thing that you find beautiful. For example, for me, this can be as simple and perfect as the freckles dotting my daughter’s nose or the way the sunlight mingles with shadows in the early morning. For additional guidance, see the “practice” section below.

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Poetry

autumn sage in spring

The autumn sage is blooming in spring, 
which leads me to believe 
she’s just getting started.

I kneel for a closer look,
absorbed in the little pairs
of bright magenta flowers
like washed slippers,
hung out to dry.

The top half of the flower
is a paintbrush,
so saturated in color,
it has begun to drip down
onto the petal below,
highlighting the landing pad
for pollinators looking for nectar.

The color hasn’t quite spilled
all the way to the edge of the bottom petal,
leaving me mesmerized and watching,
waiting for the magenta brilliance
to make its way across
the entirety of the bloom.

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Practice: Savoring

The practice of savoring helps us to be present to goodness and beauty intentionally enough, and for long enough, that our bodies and minds can hold the memory. As with any practice, you can modify this to suit your needs, but this is one way it can be done.

1. Choosing a subject: Find something that is pleasing to the senses (and is not harmful to you or others). Choose something you can access easily. It can be very simple, such as something beautiful to gaze upon from the natural world or a piece of art, music that makes you feel joyful or at ease, or a ripe piece of fruit that is sweet to taste.

2. Slowing down: Take time to sit with and be present to the subject you have chosen.

3. Settling: Take a few slow breaths, inhaling through the nose for four counts and exhaling out the mouth for 6 counts. Feel the ground under your feet or seat under your hips.

4. Noticing the subject: Spend time gazing upon, listening to, or tasting the subject you have chosen. Notice the details you’re able to observe. Consider describing and responding to those details with written words, movement, or a simple sketch. Consider the question, “What do you notice?”

5. Noticing my response: Turn your attention inward and notice what is happening in your body. Where do you feel ease and expansion? What does it feel like to be with this piece of artwork, nature, music, or fruit?

6. Holding the moment: Close your eyes or soften your gaze. See if you can call to mind what you saw, heard, or tasted. Savor the lingering memory of the experience. You may want to place your hand to your heart.

7. Offering gratitude: Offer gratitude for this goodness and beauty, your access to it, and your body’s ability to be present to it.

8. Rest: Spent a couple minutes at rest, breathing slowly, eye closed or cast down.

9. Returning and responding: When you’re ready, bring your attention back to the environment around you. Consider whether there is anything else you would like to do in response to the experience (journal, create, dance, sing, verbal process with a friend or spiritual director, etc.).

10. Next steps: Plan for another experience of savoring. This time, choose a different sense to experience or an experience that helps you feel connected with God, yourself, or others, such as contemplative prayer, going for a walk, attending a live music performance, writing poetry, creating art, practicing community service, having a conversation with a good friend, or engaging with something you enjoy doing alone. If you choose something that involves other people, you can spend additional time savoring after the event is over, when you are alone and reflecting on the experience.

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Spiritual Direction

Savoring is one of my favorite practices in spiritual direction. When directees share a moment they would like to celebrate, we take our time with it, making space to share what the memory felt like in their bodies, minds, and hearts. If you would like more information about spiritual direction or would like to schedule a free introductory Zoom call, click here or email me.

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Blessing

May you find pockets of beauty and goodness to notice, behold, and savor. May you find a sense of safety, comfort, and connection with God, self, others, and creation as you practice savoring ordinary moments from your daily life. May these moments be added to the bank of resources for you to return to when you feel overwhelmed.

Be well, friends.